The Gift We All Need - and Can Only Give Ourselves

By Suzanne Falter Barnes

I am writing this right now, feeling the divine buzz of Spirit in my hands, guiding me towards what could be the most transparent piece of writing I've ever done here.

That is to say, I want to let you know that this holiday season I'm giving myself an awesome gift - one I invite you to give yourself, too. It's totally free. It's one size fits all.

It's called 'trust'.

One could look at the results of my life, or yours, and assume we trust ourselves a lot. Things get accomplished. Responsibilities get met. It all looks pretty good, right? And yet when it comes to playing the larger game, and really truly reaching exponentially more people, are we really playing big enough? In fact, do we dare? In the small hidden parts of our heart, can we believe we really deserve such impact?

Do we think we're capable of pulling it off? I don't know about you, but I have been a terrific self-doubter.

My new goal, which I came upon only recently, is to lead my new "Recession POOF" workshop (more on that below) in various parts of the world in 2009 for groups of 200-500. That's a big stretch for me - I usually speak to groups of 100 or so at most. And in different parts of the world? Come on! That still seems like a far-off dream somehow.

And yet, all it takes is a plane ticket and an intention. And all that's required to fill large rooms with lots of people is that same intention, plus some other key pieces of thinking.

I've written down what I believe we all need to remember to reach our own big, audacious goals.

1. The results no longer matter. It used to be what I cared about most about were results - could I get the book deal, the buzz, the coaching clients? And once I did, would THEY get the results? The media calls, the increased sales, etc? Now I see it is actually the process that matters. How am I playing the game? How am I coaching them to play? Fairly? With integrity? With my heart?

2. All that matters is what I do. In the same vein, when I do any task, have I done it as well as I could? Have I tuned into Spirit and followed along willingly? Have I put my ego in park and surrendered enough?

3. I will survive - and even get along fine, as a matter of fact. How often I want to dissolve into drama, and get all cranked up about 'what if this doesn't happen!', 'what if that does happen!'. Enough! No one will starve. We have enough help around us to get just what we need. Worry is the enemy!

4. I don't always need a concrete plan. OK, some kind of loose framework isn't bad to work from, but ultimately, it's my guidance, or intuition, that saves the day every time. My plans usually get left in the dust, now that I think about it. Does this mean I don't know what I am doing? YES! And that's OK!

5. I am only as powerful as I let myself be. I see that I am really a vessel through which my spiritual guidance acts. And when I get out of the way, things work pretty darn well!

6. My entire career has been about giving up control. I was the kid who stood in the corner of the playground worrying - an over-thinker if there ever was one. Now, ten years into my Net career, I see it works best when I surrender control. Even when it meant this week that I had to book a room for 200 people at the LAX Renaissance Hotel to lead my new workshop Recession POOF. People will register, or they won't - and there's nothing I can do about it beyond make the offer. Either way, I have done what I was moved to do, and feel remarkably calm (and even excited!) about it.

7. This is all about stepping up to the next level. In fact, my entire career to date has been one continuous step up, then another step up, and then another. We all share an urge to press forward and proceed with our dreams, even when we have to gulp a bit to do so. That's growth - that's life! We can only succeed to the degree that we can make those steps up.

8. It's good to go with the flow, except when you're prepping a class, talk or workshop. Then it's good to write out extensive notes and make plans. In fact, then it's brilliant.

9. It's OK to ask for help. Not only OK, it's required. That means that you understand to get the bigger vision and help the bigger audience, you probably can't do it all alone. And there's nothing noble about being a lone wolf. Took me years to get this - and that, friends, is why I have an amazing support circle. (Thank you Peggy, Patty, Dawn, Raquel, Marta, Ian, Sarah, Indra Marketing, Shama, Andrea J, Andrea H, Amethyst, Tim, Jeff, Cindy, et al.)

10. At the end of the day, I am here to serve. Call it Soul Purpose, mission, what have you. My job in life is to move people to express themselves, and everything I do in this job is organized to that end. We all have a need to serve - and that's what keeps us grounded when we lose track. What's yours?